Don’t you just love the, in effect, “beat yourself up” sort of wellness efforts? Like making you feel bad because you ate this, didn’t do that, indulged in something else. Oh, you don’t? Great, I agree.
I get tired of wellness being associated with pain. Only pain needs to be associated with pain. Aches, disease, feeling like heck, not having enough energy to enjoy your life — that’s pain. Getting well can be a positive experience. Plus it works better that way.
Research confirms that being more compassionate with yourself makes a big difference in being healthy. Treating yourself well — cutting yourself some slack and accepting where you’re imperfect — could be the first step toward better health. People who score high on self-compassion tests have less depression and anxiety. They also tend to be happier and more optimistic, which leads to better health.
In addition, there is data that seems to show that self-compassion can even influence how much you eat, which may naturally help you cut down on eating too much or indulging in foods you crave, which often are things not-so-great for your health.
Women in a study at Wake Forest University were separated into two groups. Both were going to eat doughnuts. The difference was: The instructor told one group not be too hard on themselves about eating the doughnuts as everyone in the study was eating the same thing so there was no real reason to feel bad about it.
Later, the groups were asked to taste-test candies from large bowls. Researchers found that women who were regular dieters or had guilt feelings about forbidden foods ate less if they were in the group that was told there was no real reason to feel bad since everyone was eating the same thing. The women who didn’t get this message ate more.
Amazing, isn’t that? I would have thought giving the one group permission, in effect, to indulge would have caused them to eat more, not less. But the compassion they then felt for themselves helped them make a healthier choice.
If this translates into eating, I’m sure it translates into the rest of what’s important to building whole life wellness just as much.
The message is: Criticizing yourself is not going to help. It doesn’t provide you with motivation to change. It just leaves you feeling bad. This constant pressure to be perfect can end in you giving up. You may think: Why try? Perfection is not possible.
If you learn to focus on what you have accomplished plus treat yourself with more compassion, you’ll be a lot more likely to have a “can-do” sort of spirit about what you want to change. I bet you treat others in your life with compassion. Can you do the same for you?
Start noticing where you beat yourself up. Then switch it over, bit by bit, to more compassion. Give yourself a break, and give yourself credit for all the good you do. It’ll take some practice, but it will be so worth it. It’s the no pain, all gain way to change your life.
